Questions to ask elderly parents before they travel to Pakistan

Ask "Will you be all right with the journey?" and most parents will say "I'm fine" before you have finished the sentence. That answer is kind, and it is almost no use when you are arranging an airport pickup in Lahore or a four-hour drive to a village wedding. The questions to ask elderly parents are smaller and more concrete: how far can they walk before they want to sit, which car seat height suits their knees, how many steps are at the front door of the house they are staying in, and how long they can sit in a car before they need to stop. Ask those, write the answers down, and you have a set of booking notes that a driver and a planning team can actually act on.

Below is that list, grouped by stage of the journey, with why each question matters and where the answer goes. It is for the son, daughter or grandchild organising from the UK, the Gulf or North America. None of it is medical advice, and none of it needs medical language.

Before you start: how to ask without making it feel like an assessment

Older people who have travelled for decades can bristle at a list of questions. They are not wrong to. The trick is to make the conversation about the journey, not about them.

A few approaches that tend to work:

• Ask about last time. "When you flew back from Islamabad two years ago, which part was tiring?" gets a better answer than "Can you manage airports?"
• Ask for numbers, not verdicts. "Could you walk from the front gate to the mosque on the corner without stopping?" is easier to answer honestly than "Can you walk far?"
• Offer the easy option first. "I can ask the airline for a wheelchair just for the long corridors; shall I?" makes accepting help sound like a sensible booking choice.
• Include whoever travels with them. A sibling or spouse on the same flight will often remember the thing your parent leaves out.

Keep a single note, on your phone or in a shared family chat, where the answers go. You will copy from it several times: into the airline booking, into the journey request, and into a message for the relatives who will meet them.

Walking and standing: how far can they walk at the airport?

This is the question that decides the most. International airports involve long walks that nobody measures in advance: the gate to passport control, the queue itself, the baggage hall, then out through the arrivals area to the kerb or car park where vehicles wait. Lahore's Allama Iqbal International Airport, for example, was listed with seven air bridges and 23 remote parking stands in figures dated September 2020 and quoted on its Wikipedia entry. So depending on where the aircraft parks, your parent might step off an air bridge straight into the terminal, or arrive at a remote stand and face steps and a bus transfer instead.

Questions to ask:

1. How long can you walk at a normal pace before you want to sit? Answers in minutes are more useful than distances. "About ten minutes" is a clear planning figure.
2. How long can you stand in one place? Passport and baggage queues are standing, not walking. Some people can walk a fair distance but find standing still in a queue harder.
3. Do you need to hold a rail or someone's arm on slopes and ramps?
4. Would you use a wheelchair for the long parts, even if you walk the short ones? Many people who walk well at home accept a wheelchair for the airport and walk everywhere else.
5. How do you feel after an overnight flight compared with a day flight? Tiredness on arrival changes the answer to all of the above.

If the honest answer to question 1 is "less than fifteen minutes", treat airport assistance as the default and not a fallback.

Airline special assistance: the questions that decide whether to request it

Airport assistance is arranged through the airline or the travel agent who sold the ticket, not through the car booking. The UK Civil Aviation Authority says passengers should request assistance when they book or at least 48 hours before departure, and that airlines, travel agents and tour operators must offer a free way to ask for it. Under the rules the CAA sets out, passengers with reduced mobility are legally entitled to free assistance when flying from a UK airport on any airline, and when flying to a UK airport on a UK or EU airline. Assistance can cover the move from the car park or drop-off point, an airport wheelchair, help through security and help boarding.

For the arrival end in Pakistan, and for flights from the Gulf or elsewhere, what happens on the ground depends on the airline and the airport. Ask the airline directly what they arrange at the Pakistani airport, and ask for the answer in writing if you can.

Questions to settle with your parent before you call the airline:

• Do you want help all the way, or only at the long stretches? Help on the long walks only is a different request from help on steps too. Knowing which makes the call to the airline short.
• Can you manage aircraft steps if there is no air bridge? This is the question people forget. A parent who walks well on the flat may not want to climb steps with a handbag and a coat.
• Are you taking a walking stick, frame or folding wheelchair of your own? The CAA notes that passengers can bring up to two mobility items free of charge, and advises giving the airline the make, model, weight, size and battery details of a mobility aid such as an electric wheelchair when you book, because rules vary between airlines.
• Is there anything you would need help with on board? The CAA is clear that airline staff are not expected to help with eating, drinking, taking medication or using the toilet. If your parent would need that, someone should travel with them.

Walking stick on the plane: what to check

A walking stick on the plane is a common worry and usually a simple one, but check with the airline rather than assume. Ask whether it can stay with your parent to the seat, where it will be stowed during the flight, and whether a folding stick is easier than a fixed one. Tell your parent to keep it with them rather than pack it in the hold bag "to save hassle".

Medicines and a letter

This is not about diagnosis. It is about the practical question: "Which tablets do you take every day, and are they in your hand luggage?" The CAA advises carrying supporting information such as a doctor's letter or a copy of the prescription, as security staff may ask to see it; for liquid or gel medicines over 100ml it says a medical certificate is mandatory. Put daily medicines in the cabin bag, not the hold. A delayed suitcase on arrival in Karachi or Islamabad is annoying; a delayed suitcase with a week of tablets in it is a problem.

Step height getting into a car: the question nobody asks

Once your parent is through arrivals, the next obstacle is the car door. Step height getting into a car matters more than most families expect, and it cuts both ways.

• Low saloons mean lowering yourself down and then pushing back up. For stiff knees or hips, getting out is often harder than getting in.
• Higher vehicles, such as a people carrier, a van or a tall SUV, mean stepping up. For someone with a weak leg or poor balance, a high step with nothing to hold can be worse than a low seat.
• Middle-height cars are, for many older passengers, the easiest: you turn, sit, and swing your legs in.

Ask your parent directly, and use cars they know as reference points:

1. "Is it easier for you to get into your own car at home, or into your nephew's big car?"
2. "Do you prefer to sit in the front, where there is more legroom, or the back?"
3. "Do you need something to hold, like the door frame or a handle, when you get out?"
4. "Can you lift your leg over a raised door sill, or do you need a flat step?"
5. "Would you like someone to help you in and out, or would you rather do it yourself while the driver waits?"

Those five answers tell the planning team far more than "elderly passenger". A family travelling with several suitcases may be steered towards a larger vehicle for the luggage; if that vehicle has a high step, your parent's answer might change the plan to two cars, or to a vehicle with a lower entry. Our family vehicle page (planned link) explains how vehicle choice is discussed when you plan a journey with us.

If your parent uses a wheelchair full time or cannot transfer from a wheelchair to a car seat, you are asking a different question: whether you need a vehicle designed for access. Our sister network iDrive, which runs the platform behind Pakistan Taxi, has a separate page on accessible vehicle options you can use to start that conversation.

Stairs, kerbs and uneven ground at the house

The airport is a few hours of the trip. The house is the rest of it. Many family homes in Pakistan have a raised entrance, a gate with a step, a courtyard, an upstairs guest room, or a lane where the car cannot reach the door. Ask your parent, and ask the relatives they are staying with, because they will know the house better than your parent remembers it.

For your parent:

• How many steps can you manage without a rail?
• Are you comfortable on a narrow or steep staircase, or do you need to be on the ground floor?
• Do uneven surfaces, gravel, broken paving, a wet courtyard, make you nervous?
• Do you need to sit down straight away when you arrive, or can you wait while bags come in?

For the host family:

• Can the car reach the gate, or does the last stretch need to be walked?
• Is there a kerb, drain or step between where the car stops and the front door?
• Is there a downstairs room with a bathroom nearby?
• Is the lane lit at night, if the flight lands late?

These answers are exactly what a driver needs. "Car can reach gate; two steps up with no rail; please help Ammi with the steps" is a note a driver can act on in the dark. Our guide to arranging an airport pickup for parents while you are abroad covers the rest of the arrival handover, including who meets whom and where.

How long can they sit before a break?

The long-haul flight is only the first sitting session. After it comes the car, and in Pakistan that can be a short hop to a house in Gulberg or several hours on the motorway to another city. On any journey of four hours or more, the NHS suggests loose clothing, plenty of water, avoiding alcohol and walking around when possible to lower the risk of blood clots. That is general advice, but it gives you a neutral way to raise the subject: "The NHS says to stretch your legs on long journeys, so how often would you like to stop?"

Questions to ask:

1. How long can you sit comfortably in a car before your back or legs start to complain? An hour? Two?
2. Do you need a toilet stop at a set interval? Be matter-of-fact about this. It is one of the most useful answers you can get, and one of the most commonly left out.
3. Is there a time of day you prefer to travel? Some older passengers are brightest in the morning and fade by late afternoon.
4. Would you rather arrive and rest a day before a long drive? After an overnight flight, going straight from the airport to a three-hour road journey is a lot to ask.
5. Do you need to pray at particular times, and would you like the stop planned around that?

For intercity trips, our guide to planning intercity travel with older relatives goes further into stop planning and vehicle comfort on longer roads.

Check where they are going, not just how

Before you plan any drive, check the UK government's Pakistan travel advice. At the time of writing, the FCDO advises against all travel to Balochistan, to a long list of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa districts including Peshawar and Swat, and to within 10 miles of the Afghan border and the Line of Control. It advises against all but essential travel to others, including Sindh north of and including Nawabshah, Dera Ghazi Khan and the rest of Azad Jammu and Kashmir. The advice changes and is updated often, so read the current version and its map yourself. If a family visit involves one of those areas, that is a decision for your family to take with the official advice in front of you, and it may affect your travel insurance.

Turning answers into booking notes

The answers only help if they reach the people doing the work: the airline, the journey planning team, the driver and the host family. Each needs a different slice.

A few rules make the notes work:

• Write facts, not labels. "Uses a stick, needs a rail on stairs" is better than "frail".
• Include a named contact. Give the name and mobile number of the relative meeting your parent, and yours if you are reachable abroad.
• Say what your parent prefers. Dignity matters. "She prefers to walk if someone stays beside her" tells the driver how to help without taking over.

When you plan a journey with Pakistan Taxi (planned link), there is space to add notes to your request. Put the journey-planning line from the table there. The team can then discuss vehicle options and timings with you. A planning request is not a confirmed booking or a fixed fare: vehicle type, availability and price are confirmed with you separately, and you should not treat anything as arranged until that happens.

Mobility needs for a family visit that lasts weeks, not hours

A long stay brings questions that the arrival does not. Mobility needs for a family visit change over weeks: jet lag wears off, but heat, humidity, late wedding functions and a steady stream of visitors can wear a parent down in a way a single flight does not. Ask ahead about the whole visit, not just the landing.

• Events. Will there be a mehndi, baraat or walima? Evening functions often mean long periods of standing, loud halls and late finishes. Ask: "Would you like a car to bring you home early if the function runs late?"
• Visiting rounds. Several relatives' homes in one day means getting in and out of a car many times. Ask how many visits in a day feels right.
• Weather. A parent who manages well in a British winter may find a Lahore June or a Karachi September harder. Ask how they cope with heat and whether they want trips planned for mornings and evenings.
• The return. The flight home is often forgotten until the last week. Ask the same airport questions again for the departure, because a tired parent at the end of a visit may need more help than on arrival.

If the visit continues to Saudi Arabia for Umrah, the questions travel with them. Distances around the Haram and between hotels, stops on the road between Jeddah, Makkah and Madinah, and heat all make the walking and sitting answers even more important. Our sister company Saudi Cab Co has a guide on travelling with older passengers in Saudi Arabia that picks up the same planning from the other side of the Gulf.

Questions to ask elderly parents: the checklist to go through together

Sit down with your parent, and with whoever travels with them, and work through this list over a cup of tea rather than a phone call squeezed between meetings.

• Walking: minutes before a sit-down, time standing in a queue, wheelchair for the long parts?
• Flying: which assistance, aircraft steps, own stick or frame, medicines and letter in the cabin bag?
• The car: low, middle or high seat, front or back, a handhold or an arm?
• The house: how many steps, a rail, can the car reach the gate, a ground-floor room?
• The road and the visit: time before a stop, toilet breaks, best time of day, busy days in a row, early exits from late functions, and the same questions again for the flight home.

Then copy the answers into the four notes in the table above, and send each one to the person who needs it. Your parent will probably still say "I'm fine". This time, you will know what fine looks like.